Killer Robot Clan

So, I found Lucky at the local pound. He was nothing but ribs and hip bones covered in a crust of filth and ticks. He’s a beautiful hound, and he’s extremely sweet. He’s also extremely stubborn, as older hounds with no training tend to be. But I have lots of dog training experience, and I figured I could handle him.

Lucky is giving me a run for my money. He has been here a bit more than a month. He has filled out, he is clean, and he knows the drill. He understands all of his basics – sit, lie down, heel, kennel up, get on the bed/couch, stay, quiet. He knows this stuff. But every day, every command, he challenges me.

We are having a massive battle of wills that I believe I am very slowly winning. I can walk the dogs in a brace with some semblance of civility, and last night I actually managed to load and unload both beasts into the car with grace and ease. They are starting to learn when I am calling them individually by thier names or collectively by yelling “Boys!”. And about 20% of the time Lucky obeys without overt threats on my part.

But meal time is hell. A primary rule of dog training is that if you control the food, you control the dog. The alpha dog in a pack eats before everyone else, the others don’t start until he signals its ok. So, its imperative that your dog be made to wait for its food and only eat on command if you’re going to have any real level of control.

Every day I bring the dogs in and put them in a sit/stay at the far end of the kitchen while I am doling out bowls of food. Then I release them one at a time, by name, to eat. This whole process should take about 3 minutes. Lucky turns this into either a two-person job (one person standing by Lucky yanking him back down into a sit every thirty seconds while the other gets the food ready), or takes one person about half an hour.

I like dogs. I like training dogs. Once this is done with it will be very cool to be able to take a well-trained brace out in public (though it would be much cooler if they were matching dobies, but…oh well). But I am never, ever, ever again in my life going to sign up to teach an old hound dog new tricks.